I am filling out a job application and the question comes up, "Have you ever been arrested?"
We all know if you say yes, 90% chance your application hits the circular file. Say no and they will background check you.
This story starts when I was walking my dog in the park.
Some children and an adult came over to pet the puppy. A woman asked if the dog was okay and the kids took turns nore or less.
One very small girl was licked by the dog, screamed and ran away to a near by pavilion.
Soon an officer walked up and asked for license, shots tags etc.
I complied, Then he asked me, "Do you know why I am pulling you over tonight?"
I replied, "I think we are both walking".
I thought it might be my van or my politically incorrect t-shirt but I remained, silent.
I explained to the officer that dogs were allowed in the park...
NO more he said,
but "they have a poop bag stand?"
"They didn't take it down yet..."
"I told him I had not tested positive for anything?"
"You are obviously high on something..."
Endangering the welfare I asked?
You let several children pet your dog thus endangering all of them.
Records show you were busted for public lewdness in 1961...
I explained I was two years old in 1961...
Records show that on May 13th 1961, respondant did willfully remove his diaper and place it in a birdbath...
I agreed to plead guilty to pediphile tools (candy)
Leash too long 5 feet limit.
He agreed to let me slide on the weed if he could keep it.
Meanwhile Pee wee pooped on the ground and pissed on the car tire.
followed ticket for non-compliance of pooper scoop law.
I was then lead back to my Van, to be set free,.
Officer Obie looked in and said. "I don't see any dog restraint?"
Back to four tickets.
"Welcome to New Jersey enjoy your stay"
I turned back towards Maryland and when I arrived the State police were waiting
they told me if I left New Jersey without paying my fines I could be charged with felony fleeing...
So we went to court, total fines $420, so it's okay, until they doubled them because offense
"occurred within 1000 feet of a church property or operation" and then redoubled it
because there was a construction zone nearby. $1680 on my Master card, $120 tip to officer Obie...
Six months later there was a knock on the door, warrant for Pee wee.
In all the excitement I forgot to pay his ticket. He was fined and deported to Germany (yeah I thought Holland maybe Netherlands, it turns out Dachshunds are German) Little gay nazis...
Now I am filling out this application and I'm not sure what they mean by being arrested...